


in the darkness i found you

by flaneuse



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-25
Updated: 2013-12-25
Packaged: 2018-01-06 03:15:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1101728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flaneuse/pseuds/flaneuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After The Last Olympian, Percy struggles to find his place in the new world order, but Nico might be just as lost as he is. I hate summaries.</p>
            </blockquote>





	in the darkness i found you

**Author's Note:**

> Post Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and written after finishing The Last Olympian, and therefore is AU for Heroes of Olympus (which I haven't read yet because I didn't want it to mess with my headcanons, yo). Shoutout to the horrible people who made me read this series in the first place. And shoutout to the third graders I work with for not making that much fun of me for being more excited about these books then they are.

The days after the battle are eerily quiet. The bodies of dead loved ones are collected, and those mourning do so silently. There is a large funeral for the fallen warriors, but even that is still, save for a few speeches. They are Greek. They are demigods, and creatures of magic. They are dignified. They pick up the pieces and move on, or don't, but they do so alone.

 

The weeks after the battle are confusing. There is so much to be done. Rebuilding, reorganizing—plans are made, everyone is assigned tasks suited to their skills.

Annabeth already has her job designing a new Olympus, and she sets to work right away. Demeter's children work with satyrs and nymphs and the like to restore the earth to its natural state, after all the damage done. Aphrodite's children, spurred on by Silena's death and their aptitude for magic, begin to organize classes and practice. Hephaestus's children start filling the armory, and so on and so forth. Athena's children mostly organize everyone else's work, overseeing designs and plans.

But there are outliers. Pollux is left alone. A part of him left when his brother died, and though Percy had originally thought he was moving on, in the aftermath of the final battle at Olympus it's clear he hasn't. Dionysus too, is mourning, and sometimes the two of them are seen walking together, though neither of them speak much. Nico is gone, back to the Underworld to help Hades reorganize, and hopefully enact some changes. Percy is sad to see him go. They've been through so much together, and Percy thought that maybe they were getting somewhere, but maybe he's wrong, because Nico doesn't stick around.

And Percy himself? He'd offered to help Poseidon rebuild the underground palace, but his heart wasn't in it, and Poseidon refused anyway.

"There is a way that life works down there that you are not used to," Poseidon had said gently. "You are my son and I care deeply for you, but your place is on land. Go be with your mother."

So Percy goes, spends time with his mom and Paul (he's taking the year off school, and absolutely nobody blames him), but he still feels restless, like he isn't doing his part. Eventually his mom says a tearful goodbye and lets him go.

He gets back and Chiron summons him.

"Percy," Chiron says, and Percy is only a little uncomfortable. He's used to being paid attention to now, being looked at with weight. He's sixteen. He's a man, he supposes, at least where it counts. And yet still he feels lost, a little floundering. "What would you like to do?" Chiron asks.

"Sir?" Percy asks.

"You're a hero, Percy. You led the defense of Manhattan and saved Olympus. Nobody would bother you if you wanted to disappear for a little bit. Escape. Have some time to clear your head."

Percy shakes his head. "I've had time." The last thing he wants is more, more time to himself, to feel more lost. All his life he's felt like he was waiting for a pin to drop. When he found out about his true parentage, it almost made sense. And in the years since, there's always been something around the corner: a quest, the end of modern western civilization as they knew it. Now he's done it. He's lived to sixteen. The monsters are scattered in the wake of Kronos' fall. Percy has nothing to do.

_What would you like to do?_

He has no idea. But while he's struggling, he might as well—

"Help." Percy says finally. "Let me help."

Chiron nods and Percy can see the proud smile he isn't at all trying to hide. "I'm sure there's something we can find for you to do."

And that's how Percy finds himself teaching, of all things. Combat, strategy. The latter has him up all night reading the great myths (history, he corrects himself. Actual, factual history) and he's starting to feel like he might finally have a handle on things, might be able to center himself. At the very least, he will not be caught off-guard again.

 

The months after the battle are strange, weighted and tense. It's as if they're all in a transition. They've left an age but haven't quite clicked into the next one yet. It's been almost a year since the attack on Olympus, since Kronos fell, since Luke died (and gods, what is he supposed to call it, by what event do they mark that day) when Percy gets his first jolt into the new age.

He and Annabeth are sitting on the shore of the lake, and it's the first time he's seen her in weeks, maybe even months. She's just been so busy lately, and he supposes he has as well. They just haven't had time for each other. It's about midmorning when she tells him it's over, when he looks out over the water and says okay.

"I'm sorry," she says, and she does sound remorseful, but also sure and unwavering in her decision. "It's just, since Luke and Thalia found me all those years ago, I've always been in the shadow of someone or another. Some _boy_ or another. Luke, then you, and it's not as if I'm about to run off and join Artemis' Hunters or anything I just—" Annabeth exhales forcefully and looks up at the sky, like Athena herself is going to give her answers. "I need some time for myself."

Percy remains silent.

"We haven't seen that much of each other these past few months and I'm not— I don't miss you as much as I should. It's not like I don't care about you because I do Percy, and that won't ever go away, but this time to myself, designing the new Olympus and spending more time with Athena and my dad and his family… it's been really good for me. With everything that's happened, I'm not in the mindset to be so anchored. I'm building, I'm creating, and I need to do that on my own. I'm sorry."

Percy just sits there, numb. He understands, he does, he just doesn't feel the same way. He doesn't want to feel free and weightless, he _wants_ to be tethered. He's almost seventeen now and realizes he may have some deep-rooted separation anxiety issues born from a childhood of constantly being shipped off from school to school and never really feeling like he had a place he belonged—but that's an issue for the therapist he will never have. The point is, Percy understands, but he doesn't want to be alone. Still, that's not a good enough reason to hold onto someone, so he lets go.

"Okay," he says, and just barely manages to stop his once from cracking. "I love you, Annabeth, you know that right?" He keeps his head down so Annabeth can't see his face, but she knows him too well, and she draws him into a hug. He holds onto her tightly, last vestiges of permanence in his life slipping away with each passing second. He expects her to leave after that, but she stays with him, and he ends up with his head in her lap while she absentmindedly strokes his hair. They're there for hours, and the sun sinks and the shadows lengthen while they sit. 

They talk a little: "what are you going to do now," and the like. Annabeth is staying in New York, the same boarding school in Manhattan she's been in since the battle, because she still has so much to do in Olympus, and she expects to finish up high school there, maybe apply to university in San Francisco. Percy thinks he also might stay put too. He's never spent a whole year at Camp Half-Blood before, but what else is he going to do? Technically last year he didn't go to school—too much to be done—but that time was spent between home and camp. This time he'd stay teaching, figuring out some sort of curriculum.

Normally Percy would never think he could ever be a teacher, but this is different. He has plenty of combat experience, and he did learn from Luke himself. Besides, the campers need a new system. They live in a post-war world, and there is still a need to restructure to reflect that. Percy can do that. And maybe, like Annabeth, it's something he needs to do alone.

Eventually, Annabeth does leave, but Percy stays there at the banks of the lake until it gets dark, catching glimpses of hippocampi and naiads in the water. Still, it isn't exactly safe to be out so late, so he heaves himself up and returns to Poseidon Cabin. Alone.

Percy's seventeenth birthday comes and goes without much fanfare. He goes home, sees his mom and Paul, and eats blue food until he's sure he'll turn blue himself. That is when the next jolt into the new age hits him, and he feels the world shift on its axis again. His mom is pregnant. He's going to have a little sister. Maybe he should be worried about the sheer amount of half-siblings he has, but he's thrilled. His mom looks so happy, and so does Paul, who's glowing with the newfound wonder of somebody who is going to be a parent for the first time. 

"You're okay with this, right Percy?" His mom asks him when they're alone.

"Mom," Percy just says, and when he hugs her he realizes distantly that he's taller than her now. He's grown, and it shocks him. "I'm really happy, I promise. Paul is great, and you deserve it."

"When did you get to be so mature?" She asks him, relieved smile obvious on her face.

Percy just leans forward and kisses her cheek. "I love you mom. And I'm gonna love this little girl. When she's old enough I can even teach her swordplay."

"Percy!" His mom pretends to be shocked and laughs.

"A lady has to know how to defend herself." Percy says, trying to keep a straight face. "Besides, Annabeth would kick my ass if I didn't." His smile falters a little over Annabeth's name, and his mom places a hand on his shoulder. 

"You'll be okay, Percy. Annabeth was good for you, and you two will find a way to move on as friends, but you will find someone else. Someone just as good for you. I promise." She says, and maybe it's just what moms do, but he does feel a little better.

He leaves for camp not long after that. He had a talk with his mom about his education before he left, though, and they both decided that a high school equivalency certificate would be the best option for him. With his new responsibilities at camp, and small, but constant surges of monster activity now becoming the norm (Percy isn't sure what it all means, he just supposes that after all these monsters were rallied up to fight for Kronos, they must be be dissatisfied with the way things used to be; Percy can relate), he sometimes takes extended trips from camp to help. It's just easier for him. So now, when he's not fighting monsters, or teaching combat, he's studying. Sometimes he takes his work out to to lake, sometimes he does it in the (still lonely—he guess his father really didn't have any other dalliances with mortal women besides his own mom in the last couple decades) Poseidon Cabin. The Athena kids help him out sometimes, so even the more difficult work is not that bad.

He's starting to settle into a routine, but there's still an air of waiting around him, like something is coming. Whether it's good or bad he doesn't yet know.

 

That "something coming" turns out to be Nico di Angelo.

Percy is studying at the docks, Shakespeare open under his hands. It's absolutely horrible: it's hard enough for him to read regular English with his dyslexia, and this text is so antiquated he can barely wrap his head around it. Still, it's Macbeth, and so the themes are definitely familiar to him. He likes the story, for all that maybe it's still too soon for him to read about power struggles and murder and betrayal. Luckily his version has a translation of sorts: each page is mirrored on the opposite page by a rewrite of the verse in more modern English, so it's helping him get through it. 

He's just gotten to Lady Macbeth's "unsex me now" speech when a voice sounds behind him.

"Haven't you had enough of tragedy lately?" Nico asks, voice dry, and Percy grins reflexively, dropping the book and standing up.

"Nico," he says, pleased, forgetting to be even the slightest bit wary. 

Nico looks aloof, but like he's trying to fight a smile. He's tall now, filled out a little bit. He's still entirely too sharp looking, all elbows, but there's a healthy color in his skin, a warmth underneath the swarthiness, and when he moves, his long-legged gait is sure, no longer the skittish kid he once was. Percy hugs him without thinking.

"What was that for?" Nico asks, but Percy notices he hugs back just as tight.

Percy doesn't know. He's always been kind of starved for affection, save when he's around his mom, and to see a familiar face, someone that Percy went through so much with, he's just…happy. He's happy. Later he'll look back on this and realize this was the final jolt into the new age. That when he hugged Nico, something finally clicked.

"Where did you go?" Percy asks, pulling back and holding Nico at arm's length. He's trying for accusatory but he know he sounds a little plaintive. "You stayed until your cabin was built and then you just disappeared. Decided you wanted to help, you know, downstairs. Why didn't you stay?"

Nico looks down and shrugs. "I didn't feel like I belonged. Everyone was nice and all, but how long was that going to last before they remembered I was the son of Hades? How long before post-battle camaraderie died down and old rivalries flared up? I just didn't want to be around to see that happen."

Percy's grip on Nico's shoulders softens.

"Well it wouldn't have happened. It hasn't happened. You should see what Aphrodite and Ares cabin get up to. They're always having joint tutoring sessions where they help each other with magic and combat. And besides, you know Poseidon cabin will always have your back."

Nico rolls his eyes. "You _are_ Poseidon cabin."

"Exactly. I hold a lot of weight. Now come on. Let's get you settled in." Percy slings an arm around Nico's shoulders and guides him toward the camp. He doesn't ask him what he's been doing, why he's back now. Those are all questions that can be asked and answered at another time. For now Percy is just happy to have him back, and he keeps Nico close as he shows him around that day, always an arm around his shoulder or knees pressed against each other when they sit, and he resolutely does not think about why.

Percy is right, for the record. Almost everyone seems to accept Nico straightaway. Newer campers most certainly do. They are part of the new world order, and had come to Camp Half-Blood seeing cabins for each and every god, including Hades. To them, Nico is a legend.

Percy can't help but notice how genuinely surprised Nico is, and his heart clenches as he realizes that Nico came here expecting to be shunned. Well that's not happening on Percy's watch. But he also doesn't want Nico to be overwhelmed, and he can tell Nico is starting to tire, so he puts a hand on his upper arm and gently guides him toward Hades Cabin.

"Thanks," Nico says, as he slumps down onto the bed. "I don't…have a lot social interaction in the underworld." Nico seems so much older than he is—or maybe just as old as he is? With all the years he'd spent in the Lotus Casino, Percy can't really put an estimate on just how old Nico really is. He's been through so much in the last few years, hell they all have, that physical years lived seems just so arbitrary a measurement. They could measure in loved ones lost, or battles survived. It doesn't matter. What matters is that they're alive now, they're breathing now, and there is another day ahead of them. Percy's lived through the prophecy, and it's as if he's still living to the next big event. But there's nothing looming ahead for once. He should be living in each moment, but each moment just seems so empty.

"I figured," Percy says, instead of saying all that. "Just, you know you can always count on me, right?" 

Nico looks up at him, a little surprised.

"I mean it. If you're bored or lost—and I definitely mean that in the figurative sense—or just unhappy, you can come to me. I'm," Percy hesitates. "I'm kind of all those things at once, all the time now. We're all still trying to figure out where we fit. And you and I, Nico… There's not a lot of us left that remember how it used to be. Not a lot that I'm actually friends with, anyway. So maybe you and I can figure things out together." Percy finishes, a little self-conscious, but Nico is looking at him in a way he hasn't since they were younger, when Nico asked him to look after Bianca with every confidence that he could. Percy failed Nico then, but he doesn't want to fail him now—that is, if this is what Nico wants.

Nico surges forward and hugs Percy, the same way Percy had unthinkingly hugged Nico when he first saw him, earlier that day. He hugs him back now just as tight. Nico doesn't say anything, just nods and pulls away.

"I think I'm gonna pass out now," Nico says. "It's been a long day."

Percy nods in return. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Nico just hums an affirmative, like he's worn out his Emotional Talk quota for the day, but he looks a little more at ease. Percy lets himself out of the cabin quietly and retires to his own. With the addition of Nico at camp again, his cabin seems even bigger and emptier. Percy misses Annabeth. Or maybe he just misses a body at his side. He's not sure, he just knows he's missing something.

That night, it takes ages for Percy to fall asleep. He can't concentrate on the open books in front of him, and his body, usually tired from being put through its paces in practice every day, is thrumming with restless energy. He finally manages to drift off at some point, but he's woken all too easily as he hears the sounds of someone pacing outside. Realistically he knows that nobody should be able to get past the wards around the camp, especially now that they've been reinforced, but past experience has him grabbing Riptide and sliding out of bed. He edges towards the door, and he can see a shadowy figure slipping around the side of the cabin. Percy opens the door and exits, soundless, just as the figure disappears from sight. Whoever it is doesn't stand a chance.

Percy ducks around the corner as he reflexively swings Riptide in a graceful arc, embedding it into the wood, blocking the path of…Nico?

"Gods, Percy," Nico says mildly, though Percy can tell he's startled. "Am I really as unwelcome as I thought?"

Percy frowns at that comment and wrenches his sword free, capping it and putting it in his pocket.

"I've been a little paranoid, maybe, since the battle." Percy admits. "I thought you might be a monster."

"Maybe I am," Nico says quietly, but shakes his head when Percy makes a questioning noise.

"What were you doing out here?" Percy asks.

"Couldn't sleep," Nico says.

They stand there staring at each other for a few minutes before Percy finally yawns.

"Come on," he says. "Let me walk you back to your cabin."

"Why Percy," Nico says, smirking, voice taking on a high, Southern lilt. "What a gentleman."

Percy rolls his eyes. "Shut up," he says, but offers his arm. To his surprise, Nico takes it. Percy walks him back to Hades Cabin, and it looms like a monolith in the dark. Nico blends into the darkness; it's always calling out to him, tendrils reaching out to wrap around Nico and bring him back. It seems weirdly warm, Percy thinks. Warm and comforting.

They reach the door and stand there for a moment, and Percy absurdly thinks this is like an awkward first date or something.

"Look, Nico," Percy starts, and realizes Nico still has a hold on his arm. "If you can't sleep, or, or feel lonely or something, just tell me. You can even wake me up if you want. I don't mind."

Now Nico lets go. "Trying to fulfill your role as unofficial camp counselor?" He says sarcastically.

"No," Percy protests. "I'm trying to be your friend."

Nico looks cowed, but he shakes it off. "Yeah Percy, sure." He says, but Percy doesn't really believe him. Still, Percy lets him go, and Nico disappears into his cabin, leaving Percy to go back his bed, alone.

 

The next day, Percy wakes early, as he usually does, and spends a little while on the docks of the water, chatting with naiads or playing with the number of sea creatures, magical and normal, that live there. It always centers him, gives him a little inner peace so he can start his day. After that he goes to breakfast and notes that Nico isn't there. In fact, Nico is missing most of the morning, only showing up at Percy's combat practice session before lunch. He looks tired, noticeable bags under his eyes, but he's just as fierce as ever when Percy invites him to demonstrate a few moves with him for the other campers. He and Percy work well together, put on the right amount of show without exactly showing off. More than that, Percy's body just knows how to move with Nico's. Percy doesn't think he imagined it either, because Nico seems flushed after their fight and he makes his excuses to leave, missing lunch entirely.

Percy tends to not do combat training in the afternoons, except for surprise sessions every now and then to keep everyone on their toes. Today, however, he follows his usual routine, grabbing a book and taking it out to the lake, where Nico is waiting for him.

"You disappeared." Percy says, and the 'again' goes unspoken.

"Yeah," Nico says, "but I'm here now, so let's talk literature."

Percy's body just knows how to move with Nico's, he knows that already, so it's not a surprise that when Nico lays back onto the sun-warmed wood, Percy does too, and then it's even less of a stretch for Nico's head to end up pillowed on Percy's stomach. Neither of them comment on the way that their bodies are gravitating towards each other.

"Is it messed up that Macbeth ordering MacDuff's entire family killed doesn't even phase me?" Percy asks, and somehow his hand finds his way to Nico's hair, and he cards his fingers through the thick and surprisingly soft mop. "It's no less twisted than anything we've dealt with. Kronos ate his children. Everything after that is kind of…passé in comparison."

Nico hums his agreement, and Percy angles his head to look down at Nico, whose eyes are closed. He looks so much younger like this, and Percy's hand doesn't cease its movements. He's forgotten how much he loves the simplicity of human touch, how grounding it is, how nice.

"' _Time, thou anticipatest my dread exploits_ ,'" Percy reads, glancing down at Nico again self-consciously, but Nico's eyes are still closed and he's breathing more evenly. Percy keeps reading, and with his slow, steady voice (embarrassingly slow, he thinks, because he's overcompensating for his dyslexia) and unceasing movement of his hand, he can feel Nico fall asleep, and he grins to himself. Nico looks more at ease like this, bags under his eyes less pronounced, and Percy is glad he's the cause of it.

"Hey," Nico mutters sleepily, and Percy starts. "Did I say you could stop reading?"

Percy just rustles Nico's hair and continues.

 

After that day, the two develop a pattern of sorts. Nico is still notoriously anti-social, never showing his face before noon, but he's not outwardly mean or anything, and Percy sees him interact with some of the campers during combat practice, at which Nico has become a sort of guest lecturer, so to speak. He usually sticks around for lunch, but he can invariably be found sunning himself on the docks when Percy arrives there, book in hand. Sometimes they talk about the book (Nico is amazingly well-read—a lot of time to himself in the Underworld, he says—and wickedly clever). Sometimes they talk about anything and everything else, and sometimes they don't say a word—abandon the book and lay in relative silence.

But that's the only time Percy ever sees Nico sleep. He still hears Nico pacing around camp at night, and when he sees Nico in the late morning, there are deep bags under his eyes, and he seems exhausted to his core.

Finally, Percy's had enough.

It's three am, or something close, and Percy can't sleep himself because every night he's anticipating Nico, and then he can't sleep because he hears Nico and wants to do something but doesn't know what. Percy pushes the covers back and swings his feet over the side of the bed, heaving himself up with a sigh.

He leaves Riptide capped and on his bedside table because he's never been able to view Nico as a threat. He walks outside and catches Nico looking vaguely guilty on the stairs of the porch. Percy fixes him with that he wants to be an unimpressed stare but ends up being somewhat tender and soft.

"Come here," Percy says, and he can see Nico freeze.

"Why," Nico says, so deadpan it's barely a question.

"Just come here," Percy repeats, motioning impatiently. "You're not sleeping and I'm not sleeping because you're not sleeping, and this is becoming ridiculous. So you're going to come inside and we're both going to sleep if it kills me."

"You know you're sleeping with the son of death, right?" Nico asks dryly, and Percy's heart clenches or stutters or does something irregular over 'sleeping with.' Nico comes inside anyway, ducking his head to smile (Percy sees it anyway) when Percy says, "I'll take my chances."

The light in Poseidon Cabin is cool and dark, bathing everything in a sort of midnight blue. It looks a little like the cabin Percy and his mom used to stay in some summers upstate, and while that's comforting to Percy, he doesn't know what Nico likes.

Percy closes the door behind him and suddenly they're close, really close, and it would be so easy to dip his head (wouldn't even be that far, Nico is nearly the same height as him now) and brush their lips together. Percy wants to, doesn't even know why he wants to but he does. Their relationship (friendship) is so physical already, but a kiss is different. A kiss means something, and Percy isn't sure if he wants it to yet. So he just clears his throat and steps away, but he lets himself circle a hand around Nico's forearm, pulling him to his bed.

"This is the only way I'll be sure you sleep," Percy says, slipping under the covers on his bed and patting the space next to him. "Come on," He urges, less teasing, more gently. "You never seem to have trouble falling asleep on me when we're on the docks." He says when Nico still hesitates.

Nico flushes but gets into the bed, settling in on his side, pulling the covers up to his chin, looking at Percy like he doesn't know what to do next. Percy reaches a hand out instinctively, setting it on Nico's waist.

"Why don't you sleep?" He asks quietly, and Nico swallows.

"I didn't sleep in the underworld. It's just night all the time down there, always dark and it felt like time never passed at all. I was never tired, really, and I barely ate. Things are just different down there, and I never slept. Being topside, in the dark, it reminds me of being down there and I can't close my eyes." Nico admits in a rush, looking overwhelmed in a way he hasn't since they first met years ago.

Percy furrows his brow and reaches out for Nico, pulling him closer so that Nico is sprawled half on top of Percy and Percy's arms are around him. Nico goes willingly, but Percy suspects that's mostly because he caught him off-guard. 

"I wasn't kidding when I said you never have trouble falling asleep on me," Percy says, voice hushed because that seems like the right thing to do. He moves a hand up to tug at Nico's hair, and slowly but surely Nico relaxes under his touch. They're comfortable under the blankets, but Percy feels Nico shift closer, and his fingers tangle in the shirt Percy wears to bed. Bit by bit they move until Nico's head is tucked up under Percy's chin, and their legs are strewn on top of each other's. It's not awkward at all, and percy can't explain it. For the first time in a long time, Percy doesn't feel like there's a gaping hole that needs to be filled within him. He doesn't feel like he's waiting for something, like he's on the precipice of something new. This feels comfortable, right. 

Percy wants to stay awake until he knows Nico is asleep, until he's got some proof that he's doing the right thing. But Nico is warm (warmer than Percy thought for a boy so cold) and at one point their breathing aligns, and they exhale in unison for one perfect moment until Percy inhales suddenly, sharply, and that's the last thing he remembers.

 

When he wakes the next morning Nico is gone, and Percy is curled into the space he left like even in his sleep he searched for the last dregs of warmth—all that remains of Nico. Percy can't say he's surprised that Nico didn't stick around, but he also can't say that he's not a little disappointed either. It seems like he'll have to wait until he sees Nico to know if he's been of any help. Percy is selfish, though, because it helped _him_ , and he knows he wants to go it again, and again, and again.

He goes to breakfast as usual, but Nico isn't there, and then the day seems to drag by until combat practice, which Nico rarely misses these days. 

He's there and Percy breathes a sigh of relief. It seems like Nico looks fresher than usual, but its' not until they face each other and Percy _feels_ the surge of energy coming from Nico that he finally feels secure in his choice, what he's done. Nico's newfound energy is catching and exhilarates Percy in turn, and soon they've gathered quite an audience. There are whoops and peals of laughter coming from the crowd as he and Nico dive and feint and swing their swords with such speed that the metal looks like liquid in the air between them. Still, he hears none of their audience, focuses only on the sword in his hand and Nico in front of him, until finally a sharp voice cuts through the haze and they drop their swords, turning to face Chiron, who's trotted by. It's only then that Percy feels the deep burn in his muscles, heat scorching through tendons and veins until it floods his entire body as oxygen rushes back into taut muscles. He's breathing heavily, sweat having soaked its way through his clothing and Nico is looking quite the same as him.

Chiron is staring at them with a tempered look on his face that seems to be hiding both amusement and a little awe.

"I think we've all earned lunch, haven't we?" He asks, and the crowd disperses, chattering amongst themselves. Percy and Nico grin at each other with near identical feral glee, and they sling sweaty arms over each other's shoulder blades and run down to lunch.

Percy is ravenous and Nico, who barely eats, matches him bite for bite. Finally, when they're both so full that they're ready to keel over, they excuse themselves to the docks, not even the pretense of a book between them. Nico flops down into the wood almost immediately, shirt riding up to reveal smooth, seemingly vast skin.

"After all that I could pass right out, even with all the sleep I got last night." Nico remarks.

"So you _did_ sleep last night!" Percy crows happily, and Nico flushes but nods. "Why did you leave them? We could have gone to breakfast together."

"I don't know if I'm quite ready for breakfast, Percy." Nico jokes.

"Will you come back tonight?" Percy asks suddenly. "I mean without creeping around outside until three am. This isn't weird unless you make it weird. I'm just asking you to sleep with me. Because," Percy falters. "I liked it too. It felt…right."

"Aren't there rules against that?"

Percy shrugs. "We've already broken them."

Nico exhales then, smiling. "Alright," he agrees. "If I'm welcome."

"You're welcome," Percy says vehemently, and Nico nods, before sniffing over-exaggeratedly. 

"God, we reek." he says, and Percy can't help but agree.

"Come on," he says. "Let's go for a swim."

Nico looks skeptical. "Now?"

Percy kicks off his shoes and peels off his shirt. "Why not? It's nice out, we smell awful, and I'm determined to keep you on a normal sleep schedule. No more mid-afternoon naps." Without hesitation, Percy also pulls off his shorts, leaving him in nothing but briefs, because have you ever tried to exercise in boxers? No. He flashes a quick grin at Nico before diving into the water, barely making a splash. The water surges up around him, cool and energizing and inherently comforting. Almost immediately animals swim up to meet him and for a second he feels like some sort of freaky disney princess, but he pushes that thought out his mind. He's a demigod. Much cooler.

It doesn't take much more than a few moments until the surface of the water is broken once more as Nico jumps in beside Percy, and Percy has never been more grateful for his abilities as he is now. It's so easy for him to just hang suspended in the water, breathing normally, watching blue-white bubbles mark the trail that Nico leaves. The water surrounds Nico just as Percy wants to, and Percy can almost pretend he is. It cards through Nico's hair the way that Percy's fingers do, collects in the divot of his collarbone the way that Percy sometimes lets his thumb rest. But Nico isn't Percy, Nico can't breathe without air, so he kicks up with powerful legs and as he leaves the water, he leaves Percy as well. Percy just follows him.

He surfaces closer to Nico than he means to, and Nico ends up with his back against the dock and Percy at his front, and they're just as close as they were last night, except this time Percy doesn't clear this throat, and he doesn't move away. Nico looks up at him with wide, dark eyes. Nico's gaze flicks from Percy's lips to his eyes and back again. He sucks in a breath, leaning forward incrementally, but before he exhales, Percy huffs out a nervous laugh and ducks back underneath the water. When he resurfaces, whatever tension was there a moment ago is gone, and Nico is once again his dry, sarcastic self, if a little more caustic than before.

 

True to his word, Nico is back that night, lounging on Percy's bed before Percy himself gets there. There's a small moment of uncertainty when Nico is clearly wondering if he really should be there at all, but Percy just says, "Shove over," and crawls under the covers when Nico does. Nico seems to have decided that if he's going to do this, he'll be as much of a brat about it as he can be, because he immediately rolls over onto Percy, burying his cold nose into Percy's neck. Percy swats at him but Nico turns into and bites at Percy's skin playfully, a quick, sharp pain that Percy gasps at.

"Did you just bite me?" Percy asks, though he knows Nico did.

Nico shrugs, unconcerned. 

Percy rolls his eyes and snakes an arm around Nico's waist. "Good night, Nico." He says, and against his will his voice is fond.

"May Morpheus bless you with pleasant dreams," Nico says solemnly, and Percy falls asleep chuckling. 

 

At some point, things shift. It's like they're both waiting for something. They get caught in moments that move like thick, slow honey, moments where they're too close or too far apart and they're trapped by the sheer force of each other's orbit. Gravity seems to pull them towards each other rather than down to earth, and Percy wants to submit to it. In these moments, Percy talks about his uncertainty about the future, about how sometimes he wishes he was the hero after all and not Luke. Not because he wants the glory or anything like that, but because it would mean that he doesn't have to deal with this period of After, where he has to reconfigure his entire life—something he still isn't done doing even through it's been two years since the battle.

Nico reciprocates sometimes. He might tell Percy about how lonely the Underworld is, but that it's worth it because it gives him a chance to know his father, learn about the woman his mom was before she died. In the quietest moments of the darkest nights, he tells Percy about Bianca, the Bianca that Percy didn't know, and how much Nico misses her. He tells Percy (after threatening pain of death if Percy makes fun of him) that he loves the sight and smell of the earth like never before after spending so long where nothing grows. He also tells Percy that he understands how anyone could grow bitter and cold after being forced there for eternity. 

The day after that, Percy cultivates colorful sea anemones in clear bowls of saltwater and places them around the cabin, reveling in the look that Nico gives him when he sees them. It's another one of those moments where Percy thinks he could kiss him, but then decides against it for fear of ruining what they already have. Eventually Percy feels bad and takes the anemones to the coast because technically they're animals and it's not fair to keep them in his room, but he makes sure to ask his friends in Demeter cabin for plants that thrive near seawater that he can keep around the cabin. They agree as a personal favor to him, with much teasing as to who the flowers are for, as if they don't already know. Percy and Nico are the worst kept secret at camp, for all that they aren't even actually together.

That knowledge pulls at Percy a bit, and he thinks it's only a matter of time until something gives, until they decide once at for all what they are, because Percy can't be the only one who feels this way. Nico has to, too, he has to. And if he doesn't Percy doesn't really have any lifelines left to hold onto. Percy will never tell Nico that, but somehow he thinks Nico knows. And Percy prays to the gods it's not the reason Nico sticks around, because that would feel too close to pity, and it's the reason Percy let go of Annabeth.

 

Percy's right. Something gives, and it's Percy, it was always going to be Percy and his desperation and his unending need to make things better for everyone around him, because that makes things better for him too.

"Why did you come back?" Percy asks one night, head buried in Nico's neck. Nico still doesn't stick around until morning. "Honestly."

"I was lonely," Nico whispers back after a beat of silence, voice raw.

Percy tightens his hold instinctively. "Are you still lonely?" He asks, afraid to hear the answer.

"A little," Nico admits, lacing his fingers with Percy's. "But almost not at all."

"What can I do?" Percy asks, not a little desperately. "Tell me what I can do so you don't feel alone."

Nico shifts, shying away from Percy, who loosens his arms, but not enough to make him let go. "You can't, there's nothing you can do that's not—I just…I don't want you to feel _obligated_ , like you _pity_ me." Both words are spat out with such distaste, and Percy can feel Nico curling in on himself, trying to get away but still unwilling to completely reject his touch.

Percy is going to ask Nico when he's ever done something out of pity, but he has, hasn't he? That's Percy's great weakness. He cares too much, which sounds stupid, but it also means he does do things out of pity, because he's sorry, because he just wants to make things right. But it's not like that with Nico and Percy doesn't know how to make him see that.

"Please, Nico," Percy says, and it's almost like he's begging. "Tell me."

Nico exhales harshly, angrily and in Percy's slackened hold he twists around until he's facing Percy. There's a determined fire in Nico's eyes, and before Percy realizes what's happening, they're (finally, _finally_ ) kissing. Nico is wildness contained in such a small, lithe body, but Percy's wanted this for some time now, and he opens up eagerly and greedily. Nico's hands are fisted in the front of Percy's shirt, and Percy holds onto him just as tightly, one forearm hooked securely around Nico's lower back, and the other hand tangled hard into Nico's hair. 

Nico arches his back so that his entire body pushes convex against Percy's front. Percy breaks away to gasp raggedly, but it's not more than a second before he's back, tongue sweeping into Nico's red mouth, into what Nico is offering up. Their mouths slide against each other's, and Nico's hands release Percy's shirt to clutch at his face. Percy chances a look at Nico because he just has to see his face, but the way that Nico's eyes are clenched and his brow furrowed makes Percy pull away gently.

"Nico," he whispers, and to him, his voice is so full of want that he can't imagine Nico doesn't hear it. "Look at me."

Nico opens his eyes.

"You need to understand something." Percy says seriously. They're still pressed up against each other and Percy keeps his palm curled around the base of Nico's neck, thumb swiping lazily over skin. The look in Nico's eyes is so overwhelmingly vulnerable, such a change from his usual biting, dry wit and quickly covered-up moments of transparency. Percy kisses Nico, his mouth just catching on Nico's full lower lip.

"I don't pity you." And Percy doesn't say he never did, because there was a time when he looked at a small, bereft Nico, reeling from the loss of his sister, and felt sorry for him. But he doesn't pity Nico now, and hasn't for a long time. "I don't pity you. I'm not doing this because I think it'll make you feel better, or fix you, or whatever bullshit reason you might have thought up. I'm doing this because I've felt so lost lately, like there's no purpose or point to anything I'm doing, but all that goes away when I'm with you. You make me…" Percy breaks off, a little frustrated. "I'm content, I'm alright, but you make me _happy_." Percy says, unable to stop himself from smiling. "You make me happy."

Nico's expression is unreadable, but slowly, an awed understanding begins to dawn, and the corners of his mouth turn up. 

"I do that to you?" Nico asks, and when Percy nods Nico surges forward and kisses him again, and this time he maneuvers himself so he's on top of Percy, wedging a knee between Percy's thigh that Percy instinctively grinds down on. Nico's hands wander as they kiss, getting up under Percy's shirt and sweeping across his skin.

"Fuck, Percy," Nico whines as he tilts his head to nip at the underside of Percy's jaw, drawing sparks of pain that turn quickly into sparks of pleasure. Percy only gasps in response, trying to hold Nico against him harder. Nico manages to slip out of his grasp though, and after leaving a few kisses against his collarbone, Nico shifts down Percy's body, mouth inching closer and closer to where Nico's hands are pulling down the band of Percy's sweatpants.

There's no way Percy is going to stop any of this, especially when Nico pulls off Percy's sweats entirely and presses his face into the V of his hips, nuzzling close to where Percy's cock is hard and waiting. Percy's shirt is, absurdly, still on and rucked up, but that's the last thought on his mind when Nico's mouth sinks down over him. Percy gasps and it's a high, needy sound that prompts Nico to take him deeper.

Percy fights not to thrust up into Nico's mouth, but it doesn't matter because Nico holds his hips down easily as he bobs his head up and down over Percy's dick. Nico is ravenous, laving attention to each and every vein that winds up Percy's dick, and he pulls off to lap at the head, then nip lightly at his hipbones and inner thighs. There's no way Nico has never done this before, and the thought makes Percy moan. Percy winds his fingers into Nico's hair, and the gesture is supposed to be hard and wanting but only ends up being tender. He can't help but swipe his thumbs over Nico's cheekbones and Nico looks up at Percy through long, spiderwebbed lashes. Nico's red lips are stretched over Percy's cock and Percy thrusts up once, twice, and comes, hot and coursing, down Nico's throat.

Nico pulls off, movements almost feline, and drags his thumb across his lower lip, sucking it into his mouth, all while Percy watches. Percy hauls him up then, startling a laugh out of Nico—and Nico looks thrilled, he looks _delighted_ —and Percy kisses him, unable to keep a grin off his own face. Fuck, he's happy, he's so happy, and it feels so natural to yank off his shirt and help Nico out of his clothes, to reach down and take him in hand, and bring him off while Nico presses his face into Percy's neck. When Nico comes, he bites down on the muscle in Percy's neck, and it sends a sharp sting of pleasure down his spine.

They're both breathing a little heavily, but they stay exactly as they are until their breathing has calmed, and Percy just wipes his hand on what he hopes is his shirt or sweats, and not the sheet. Nico mumbles something into Percy's skin, and Percy asks him to repeat himself.

"I came back because I was lonely, and I wanted you. It's you I've always been drawn to, and I didn't think you'd ever want anything to do with me." Nico says, still pressed up against Percy, fingers scrabbling over Percy's bare chest in an attempt to find something to hold onto. Percy's chest tightens when he realizes that Nico is trying to hold on to _him_ , trying to find any way to keep himself attached to Percy. "Nobody's ever been kind to me the way you are. I feel tolerated, most of the time, at the best of times. But with you I feel wanted." There's wonder in Nico's tone.

Percy presses a kiss to Nico's bare shoulder.

"I do want you," he says quietly. "I meant it when I said you make me happy. I want to take you home and make you meet my mom, properly this time, and I even weirdly want to see you holding the baby sister that's on the way," and Nico makes a snuffling noise that sounds like he's about to cry, so Percy changes the subject. "I want to blow you while my mom and Paul are in the other room and you're biting down on your fist so you don't make any noise."

Nico huffs a laugh into the crook of Percy's neck. "You're a pervert, Percy Jackson." He says, but he does finally pull away to look Percy in the eyes. Nico is so young and old at the same time and Percy hardly knows what to do with him. Nico is quick and fleeting like the shadow-travel he uses to navigate the darkness; sometimes he's there and sometimes he isn't. He's never stayed in one place for long (and his stretch in the Lotus Casino certainly doesn't count) and he could very well decide tomorrow that he doesn't want to spend any more time at Camp Half-Blood, that this isn't right for him, that he wants to try something new now. But Percy is like the ocean he was born of. He's vast and permanent and yearning, and he's not letting Nico go anywhere without him. 

"Will you be here in the morning?" Percy asks.

Nico smiles fondly down at him. "Yeah," he murmurs. "So let's go to sleep."

Percy falls asleep smiling that night, Nico's leg strewn across his, their fingers entwined where their hands are clasped over Percy's chest.

 

The next morning, Percy wakes at 6:30 to early summer sun shining through the crack in the curtains. Nico is still curled around him, fast asleep. His mouth is hanging open but he looks relaxed and entirely at ease, so Percy just presses a kiss to the side of his head and wills himself to go back to sleep. They end up missing breakfast entirely, which is a shame, except not really because they have sex instead, and now Percy knows what Nico looks like in the late morning light, head thrown back and ankles locked behind Percy's lower back, urging him on to thrust deeper, deeper. Nico digs his nails deep into Percy's shoulder blades as he comes, moaning so obscenely that Percy loses it immediately afterward, and they both collapse, boneless and sweaty.

"Fuck," Nico murmurs afterward, carding his fingers through Percy's hair where Percy is laid out on top of him. 

"I believe we just did."

" _Ha-ha_ ," Nico rolls his eyes.

They lay there in relative silence for a while longer, letting their heartbeats slow to a normal rate, dragging touches down arms and ribs just because they can.

 

Later, when they've cleaned up and gotten themselves to combat practice, when they go to lunch afterwards, Percy is so bright and happy, stealing looks and touches from Nico whenever he can, that the other campers begin to suspect something is up. It's not until breakfast the day after, however, when Percy shows up with Nico in tow, that everyone finds out. They're teased and suggestive jokes are cracked, but it's not much different from when Clarisse and Chris got together a few years back (and jesus christ, they're still going strong) or Alice Newbold from Demeter and Nikita Parillaud from Ares got together just last summer. Percy's stupidly happy and he suspects Nico is too.

At the end of the summer Percy makes good on his promise to bring Nico home with him, and there's a moment, standing with his hand in Nico's in front of his mom (who is almost ready to give birth) and Paul (who is kind and accepting but who Percy doesn't truly know all that well), that he's scared. But then his mom smiles and she starts crying, hugging Nico so close to her that Nico can't help but hug her back, and Percy knows everything is going to be okay.

"Thank you so much," he hears his mom whisper to Nico, because she's crying so hard she can't possibly be quiet at the same time. "I don't know what you did, but he's happy now."

And Nico looks quiet and awed so Paul takes him into the kitchen under the pretense of helping bring out coffee and tea for everyone. Then Percy's mom hugs him too, tells him she knew he would find someone, she just knew it, and Percy tells her she was right. 

Nico comes back out with a tray balanced in his arms and he looks out of place and at home all at the same time. They sit next to each other on the couch and hold hands and Percy's chest hurts because he didn't know it was possible to feel this way. Then later that night Percy makes good on his promise to blow Nico in his bed, and Nico still calls him a pervert but it's after he comes in Percy's mouth and his voice is hoarse from holding back moans.

Percy still doesn't really know what he wants from life now. He's having a good time training kids at camp, and he's thinking about asking Chiron if he can apprentice under him, and maybe teach in a more official capacity from now on. And Nico is with him, Nico is by his side, and for Percy, that's the only thing that really matters.


End file.
